Terry Crews — How to Have, Do, and Be All You Want (#287)

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• Oath - when you learn something I don't know, tell me. When I learn something you don't know, I promise to tell you.
• Follow thoughts with action
• You can't fight your way out of things. You have to think your way out of them.
  • Vulnerability isn't weakness.
  • But be authentic at the same time.
• You get what you want
  • If you wanted something different to what you have, you'd change it.
  • Get rid of self sabotage and you can achieve whatever you need.
  • Busy is a decision - it's a consequence of your decisions
• The master key system - book
  • In order to have, you have to do.
  • In order to do, you have to be
  • You need to see your goal in your head - instead of thinking I'm gonna be rich. You think "I'm rich" - then you start thinking what would a rich person do
  • You are what you are now. There's only now.
  • Follow your heart and your body will catch up
  • To be more patient, surround yourself with patient people. Then think what would this patient person do in this situ.
• Biggest bad advice - work hard to beat the competition
  • If you're competing, you're not being creative
  • Its a confidence game - you have to know that your view point is just as viable
  • You need the success of other competitors for your thing to be successful. Cos if everyone ate the same thing we'd all hate it. Sometimes people will wants yours!
• Advice to new parent
  • It's not that big a deal. You're gonna over do everything.
  • Never shame them
  • Love them till they can't stand it anymore.
  • Shame is horrible, but guilt is good cos it says you did something wrong.
  • "shame on you" - don't say that. They internalize this.
  • They're going to be fine, but you spend so much time trying to figure stuff out for them, but you have to let their consequences teach them.
  • Example of "Bob" and TV, they used up their TV time and now it's their fault. They feel the guilt and their own consequences.
• Shame wants punishment, guilt cultivates discipline
  • Shame wants a quick way out.
  • With guilt, you admit it's your fault and can work to create the discipline to fix that situation.
• God will not have his work manifest by cowards.
  • Fear begets more fear, but courage begets more courage.
  • Any great thing takes courage. A willingness to be judged, looked at.
  • Helps you to layout what you're afraid of. Then you can attack it.
  • Vulnerability is part of courage.
  • If you care you're always gonna be nervous. But when you walk in, it'll disappear.
  • You'll be nervous, but go in anyway.
• Courage begets courage
• Lifestyle changes - Tim
  • Not changing what has worked
  • "it's all downhill from here" - cos you've stopped doing everything you're supposed to be doing.
  • Not using excuses to stop doing those things, cos they seem to keep him strong.
  • Trying to fix a habit of being unkind to himself, with his inner voice.
  • Anger is the acid in the vessel.
  • If you want to love people fully, you cannot do it if you don't love yourself. It's a must have, not an indulgence.
• Lifestyle changes - Terry
  • Intermittent fasting
  • Man 2.0 - book
  • Everything that is within your grasp is not meant to be in your hand.
  • Learn and teach yourself to say no to your body.
• What's your go to first meal
  • Omelet salad. It has bacon, cheese along with a salad.
• What're your thoughts about crypto - Tim
  • Be very careful.
  • Don't take the DIY approach
  • Have the potential to be the next internet,
  • Much like picking stocks, you're up against professionals.
• When do you decide to mentor/invest in helping someone
  • It's about desire.
  • You have to really want what you're going for.
  • Everybody gets a shot, cos you don't know until you give that time. (e.g. They're late many times)
  • When he "fires" them, he asks "tell me what I did wrong and what offended you" - helps him become a better mentor.
  • Other times they realize they messed up.
• How do you break up with a friend
  • First they have a lot of talks as they go.
  • We have to be held to this standard.
  • E.g. His single friend. "if I hear even 1 woman from your circle saying you did something. It's over".
  • When it happened, "dude, I love you like a brother, but I gotta go on without you."
  • Every relationship in my life must be voluntary. If you're here you wanna be with me.
  • Goes both ways. If I wanna leave, you have to respect that.
• Advice for introvert to be entrepreneur
  • You can be shy and introverted.
  • Don't have to do what you're not.
  • Can train yourself with toastmasters
  • You don't have to be an expert at socializing.
  • If you're so good that people can't ignore you, you can't be denied.
  • Terry:
    • People have confused boldness with being extroverted.
    • You know who you are and what you want
• Coping with self induced anxiety?
  • How to stop worrying and start living - book
  • Fear setting - a practice to diffuse the anxiety.
  • Journaling - ask yourself what this might look like if it was easy. 
    • Does a lot to take the monsters in your head and show you that they're just shadows.
  • Terry:
    • Live in "day-tight" compartments - just get today done. Don't worry about tomorrow or yesterday.
• Closing words/ask
  • People are not objects to be used. They are people to be loved.
  • Please see everyone like that.