Every Saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
Beware the faux woke
Children are empty vessels
There's so much opportunity to shape them.
Negatively or positively.
Shed your expectations, entitlements and biases
Dig into where these came from and why I believe these things.
Is it OK to let go of these beliefs without letting go of who I am.
Ignore words and pay attention to actions.
Instead of telling people what you value
Show them your schedule. Cos that implies your priorities.
Why harder to let go than add?
We gravitate towards the familiar.
It's a survival tactic.
We're trained to figure out what's out of place.
We'll naturally lean towards what we learnt in our early days (example of how parents showed love to each other etc. Creeping into your relationships.)
What helped you then, may be hurting you now.
Are you speaking to an invisible audience?
Trying to prove something to someone that doesn't exist, based on issues faced in the past.
Why do I feel the way I feel now and what do I think the explanation is.
Practical step to identify biases?
Ownership.
External factors may have caused things.
But we can own the decisions we make, the expectations we have etc.
We empower ourselves to make better decisions.
It becomes win or learn (not lose)
We need to feel connected and bond to something.
Self pity is the fast food way to do so.
It's convenient, quick and cheap
Take that out of your diet.
Taking responsibility gives you the power to change your situation.
Very defined line between self pity and self compassion
Compassion is realizing that when hurt, you need time to heal, but knowing what you need to do to get better.
Pity is when you start to let your injury define you. Wanting others to feel sorry for you.
It's easier to stand up for others than myself.
We don't think we're worthy of love, but everyone else is.
But we are!
We know ourselves more, so it's easier to not like you.
You only know others in small doses.
Second practical step
Your identity is not your absolute choices.
If you've made decisions you're not proud of anymore, then that's OK.
Our beliefs were taught to us - we didn't have it out the gate.
Where did it come from?
If parents indoctrinated you, they aren't bad, it's just what they were taught by others.
Get the self awareness to realize if that belief is no longer serving you.
This continuous journey of shedding old ideas and adding news ones and maybe even shedding new ones later as well.
If things aren't working out for you:
What do I have to do to be grateful for this situation (good/bad).
Are you gonna grow bitter and cold.
Or are you gonna take action and flip it.
There's a slow, structured approach to getting children to read - why do we expect faster progress in other things (like self improvement and diet etc.)
You'll get used to any condition - whether it's simple or lavish.
You can keep climbing this mountain - there is no peak.
Enjoy it while you're here.
Straight lines don't often occur on life
Nothing WI last forever.
Not our best day. Not our worst day.
It's an endless cycle.
Life is supposed to have ups and downs.
When you respect the way everything else works, it reduces the tension that we impose on ourselves.
It's the challenges that make life interesting and gives us the character to become the people that we are.
Challenges teach us what we can pass down - so that others can start a level ahead of us and address newer challenges.
Success is a lousy teacher.
Breaks don't work.
Gotta have those breaks (me time) everyday.
Not just weekends.
Don't judge the moment.
What you think maybe a bad moment - could be the best in your life
But you'll never take advantage of that, if you approach it wrong.
Don't even judge the good moment - they may not be.
When you stop evaluating the moment - you can start looking for the opportunities and the good that comes from it.
Failures only make the story better
There's no movie of someone's life that would be exciting without failures.
5 modes of life:
Learning
Testing
Performing
Struggling
Thriving
But we all, always want to be thriving.
You're wasting your energy trying to thrive, when you should be learning
Gratitude needs to be specific
There's 3 stages
First competition
Then cooperation
Then collaboration - work together for something bigger than all of us.
Find an excuse to say thank you.
Doesn't matter to who.
Things don't have to be perfect.
Striving for perfection stops you from starting or finishing.